If Anyone/Need

Ellie Gianassi

Art by Juliana Kulak

If Anyone

god, if anyone just happens

to look through my eyes in the window,

recognize and remember this

red headed red face

of tears and storm clouds

of sun and empathy

of self-stitched scars and wildflowers

i don’t know how they’d feel,

but I hope I could at least gift them a smile

for now, this soft ridged porcelain will do

come see me spend my lowly days

calmly crying in my ashtray

Need

when i cling to the lighter in my palm, 

i can feel warmth again 

if I make this journey, 

I need to instead cling to you

then I can always come home 

subtlety and silence is the game I play 

little words, pure intention only I know 

but after every charade,

after every cool blue moonlight

it’s still vulnerable to you 

can feel just as I and you 

so i need you to answer me 

In the most subtle, the most silent, 

and the most beautiful way possible: 

Do you still need me?